Post by Leon Silverblood on Apr 17, 2007 9:50:44 GMT -5
"Crocodiiiiiile miiiiiiiiiile!" Leon screams as he Superman's through the air, flying over the bar and landing with a hard thump on the reptile, then bouncing off and hitting the wall with his back and shoulder at an angle. "Owwwwww FUCK! Someone forgot to hose it down first!" He enunciates the last part as he rolls his eyes and follows with a sarcasm that seems like it should have comedic sound effects: "Thanks guys!"
Through it's grey-green armor-hide, the sleepy, milky-eyed distant cousin of the once proud and mighty 'saurs is obviously a little dazed, a lot confused, but otherwise completely unharmed. Leon, on the other hand, is soused well and good, but favors the shoulder he impacted the bar wall with. He adopts a John Wayne accent momentarily, remembering the classic body language as well, and he says to the crocodile, "Well, that's okay, pilgrim." then suddenly lapses into the screeching hillbilly drawl that brings to mind an image of four skinny, inbred, yipping, yapping, jumpin', hollerin', whooopin', squirrel-huntin', possum eatin', gator wraslin' hog-wallerin' redneck boys with rifles running and jumping into a beat up white Ford pickup. "I gots ya wata! Raaaaaaht Tcheea!"
Leon pisses on the crocodile. Leon pisses off the crocodile. Leon turns and runs, trying not to trip over anything as he leads the alligator out from behind the bar and then up the stairs, swiping a bottle of cheap rum, a cigarette, the cable earlier used to haul up The Turk, a paring knife and an enormous cleaver. The undead croc gives chase as Leon cackles and continues talking to it in "Heeere, gater gater gater!!" redneck-speak.
Fortunately, Leon's fine furless friend can't make a feeding groan, and the ruckus heard from above is over in a brief minute or two. Leon returns from the rooftop with a full crocodile hide and says "He's hanging from the side of the roof by his teeth. Strong cable." Seeming a little winded Leon takes another drink from the bottle and a deep draw of a Marlboro so old it's probably got undead worms burning up in it at this very moment. He holds up the blades in a prepository gesture and says "Boil? Or go all out and sterilize by fire?" as he passes into the kitchen and cleanses the skin that used to belong to his new best friend.
Through it's grey-green armor-hide, the sleepy, milky-eyed distant cousin of the once proud and mighty 'saurs is obviously a little dazed, a lot confused, but otherwise completely unharmed. Leon, on the other hand, is soused well and good, but favors the shoulder he impacted the bar wall with. He adopts a John Wayne accent momentarily, remembering the classic body language as well, and he says to the crocodile, "Well, that's okay, pilgrim." then suddenly lapses into the screeching hillbilly drawl that brings to mind an image of four skinny, inbred, yipping, yapping, jumpin', hollerin', whooopin', squirrel-huntin', possum eatin', gator wraslin' hog-wallerin' redneck boys with rifles running and jumping into a beat up white Ford pickup. "I gots ya wata! Raaaaaaht Tcheea!"
Leon pisses on the crocodile. Leon pisses off the crocodile. Leon turns and runs, trying not to trip over anything as he leads the alligator out from behind the bar and then up the stairs, swiping a bottle of cheap rum, a cigarette, the cable earlier used to haul up The Turk, a paring knife and an enormous cleaver. The undead croc gives chase as Leon cackles and continues talking to it in "Heeere, gater gater gater!!" redneck-speak.
Fortunately, Leon's fine furless friend can't make a feeding groan, and the ruckus heard from above is over in a brief minute or two. Leon returns from the rooftop with a full crocodile hide and says "He's hanging from the side of the roof by his teeth. Strong cable." Seeming a little winded Leon takes another drink from the bottle and a deep draw of a Marlboro so old it's probably got undead worms burning up in it at this very moment. He holds up the blades in a prepository gesture and says "Boil? Or go all out and sterilize by fire?" as he passes into the kitchen and cleanses the skin that used to belong to his new best friend.
