Tova Talk. C24.07

For those of you without radios(read:Godless heathens) I have taken it upon myself to copy tonights broadcast for your viewing pleasure.
27.04 MHz: "You're listening to Tova Talk, C27.04. Your #2 News source." (24 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "I'm Tovarisch Khruschev, and this is your news, tonight." (23 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "A local man who has been missing for nearly a year now..." (21 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "has been found in Heytown manning the Godson Arms pub." (21 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "The man, formerly known as Grippy, now goes by the name Jeff" (20 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "and believes himself to be a middle eastern man flown in by" (20 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "a giant hot air balloon." (20 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "Doctors say that the man suffers from dissociative fugue" (19 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "but if you ask this local anchor, he just had a few too many" (19 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "sips of the ol' mead. His family is being alerted." (18 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "In other news, a C27.04 carrier pidgeon was shot down..." (18 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "earlier this morning. Police have no suspects." (17 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "If you have any information on this case, please visit..." (17 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "our studio in *static static*le." (16 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "The Ketchelbank zoo is asking for help in rounding up a lost" (15 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "bear, last seen heading toward Ridleybank." (15 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "the Zookeepers ask that the bear not be harmed." (14 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "If you have seen the bear, we ask that you..." (14 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "call in to our station and let us know. You can call me..." (13 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "on my mobile at any time. Now for weather." (12 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "Snow continues to fall in our fair city. Expect..." (11 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "an average temperature of around 25 degrees farenheit for..." (10 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "most of the week, with a windchill of around 15 degrees." (10 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "Tonights sports segment has been cancelled due to the..." (8 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "untimely deaths of the majority of athletes in Malton." (7 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "Let us now pay our respects with a moment of silence..." (5 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "dedicated to the Malton Muscrats." (5 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "In related news. If you have any information on..." (2 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "the whereabouts of the Malton Muscrats, we urge you to..." (2 minutes ago)
27.04 MHz: "contact your local police." (1 minute ago)
27.04 MHz: "Thats all tonight. This has been Tovarisch Khruschev saying" (1 minute ago)
27.04 MHz: "you stay classy, Malton." (43 seconds ago)