For Your Information

The situation in Yagaton is deteriorating fast. On the back of Blackmore falling, now it seems the end is nigh for Whatmore. The Militant Order of Barhah have slowly eroded the defenses and the wills of the survivors. I died at the hands of Xyu himself, and although I was quickly back into the fray the picture was bloody. 32 angry zombies lurking in the doorway, a flimsy set of shelves keeping the rest at bay and only 9 brave, battling bastards left standing. I kicked Xyu in his husky nuts and told him my bear would have his pecker for breakfast. But as my pistol ran out of bullets so my bravado ran out of steam. I made for the high ground but I will return. There is glory here, real, honest sticky glory. The type our grandpappys used to have in jars in the basement. So, if you can spare the time, saddle up those bears, dust of those cameras and get back in the action.

This is the Information Minister, in a bloody pickle, for Channel 4 News!