how many alts / sock puppets do you have?

One - It's a small puppet. Unless someone is not at all well endowed, that's going to be very painful indeed.

Two, that's a Rummer. *slice slice slice*

Need I say more?

And Agent, I don't know what you were thinking of. Get your mind out of the gutter, and get your eyes away from the Large Print Annex, you foul-minded pervert!