Post by Marcel Swann on Oct 19, 2012 9:57:18 GMT -5
Her grandson sent me the eulogy he gave at her funeral. Here it is:
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My grandmother was a self-made woman.
I don’t mean this in the standard, pulled-himself-up-by-his-bootstraps sense, I mean that she was a woman who decided who she was in life, and made these ideas into her reality.
She was born on a farm in west Texas in the year of the dust bowl, when this country and its people experienced a depth of privation that most of us are unlikely ever to have to face. Her early life was shaped and constrained by these circumstances, and later she would work to reflect these conditions in some of the images you see around you.
Later in her life, she moved into the social fishbowl that was the life of a Houston oil company wife and socialite. She had to be prepared every day and every week for “surprise” visits from other oil company wives, and if she failed to make the proper impression, she risked the very career prospects of her husband. She had to become who these people expected her to be, to become a reflection of them.
Then she dealt with the illness and death of my grandfather, tending to him over those long years, making voyages around the country to visit specialists, friends and family for support, all the while tending to the man she loved as he struggled.
When I asked her about her life after grandpa’s death, she told me that initially she felt lost, rudderless. So much of her life to that point had been based on where she grew up, who she married, where she lived, what she owed to others, that she didn't have a clear sense of what she owed to herself.
But then, she decided that her life was hers to do with as she wished. She could be who she wanted to be, live how she wanted to live, and make her life her own creation.
We have all witnessed the results of this decision: a woman who was eternally young at heart. She played Dungeons and Dragons with college students all night. She was a major figure in an online zombie fighting game. She learned to use all of the incredibly complicated modeling software needed to make the pictures you see around you now. She had entire “housecoat” days, where she scheduled time not to leave her pajamas.
My grandma was a self-made woman. She decided who she wanted to be in this world and in this life and made that vision into her reality.
I hope we can all learn from her example and try, each in our own ways, to be what we truly want to be, and to live how we truly want to live. She has shown us the way, all we need is the strength that she had to persevere.
We love you grandma. We miss you, and we’ll never forget you.
Thank you.
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My grandmother was a self-made woman.
I don’t mean this in the standard, pulled-himself-up-by-his-bootstraps sense, I mean that she was a woman who decided who she was in life, and made these ideas into her reality.
She was born on a farm in west Texas in the year of the dust bowl, when this country and its people experienced a depth of privation that most of us are unlikely ever to have to face. Her early life was shaped and constrained by these circumstances, and later she would work to reflect these conditions in some of the images you see around you.
Later in her life, she moved into the social fishbowl that was the life of a Houston oil company wife and socialite. She had to be prepared every day and every week for “surprise” visits from other oil company wives, and if she failed to make the proper impression, she risked the very career prospects of her husband. She had to become who these people expected her to be, to become a reflection of them.
Then she dealt with the illness and death of my grandfather, tending to him over those long years, making voyages around the country to visit specialists, friends and family for support, all the while tending to the man she loved as he struggled.
When I asked her about her life after grandpa’s death, she told me that initially she felt lost, rudderless. So much of her life to that point had been based on where she grew up, who she married, where she lived, what she owed to others, that she didn't have a clear sense of what she owed to herself.
But then, she decided that her life was hers to do with as she wished. She could be who she wanted to be, live how she wanted to live, and make her life her own creation.
We have all witnessed the results of this decision: a woman who was eternally young at heart. She played Dungeons and Dragons with college students all night. She was a major figure in an online zombie fighting game. She learned to use all of the incredibly complicated modeling software needed to make the pictures you see around you now. She had entire “housecoat” days, where she scheduled time not to leave her pajamas.
My grandma was a self-made woman. She decided who she wanted to be in this world and in this life and made that vision into her reality.
I hope we can all learn from her example and try, each in our own ways, to be what we truly want to be, and to live how we truly want to live. She has shown us the way, all we need is the strength that she had to persevere.
We love you grandma. We miss you, and we’ll never forget you.
Thank you.