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Post by 23skidoo on Nov 15, 2007 14:02:19 GMT -5
Strange times, good times, new york times. The Team are back together for the first time in living history folks and so far the party is in full swing.
I find myself back in a Fort, only this time the whimpering sap majority have been replaced by big ball swinging swaggering man gods! The air is thick with curses, songs of pain and carnage, oaths being sworn to Odin, the stench of blood and spilt revivication juice and the faint whiff of mahogany, musk and leather. These are good times to be alive, one of the few times I'd swap Malton for San Diego.
So far the fight is going well, rumors of a rampaging horde are rampant, but that may just be wishful thinking on our part. The Cannonball Crew have taken the training ground and turned it into a bowling alley and the Rangers have apparently found the legendary Malton Massage Parlor. The News Team keep reporting the good stuff and the good people keep doing the right stuff. All is right with the world, hopefully the party will continue and the head count will keep rising. So make hay while the sun shines people, and say a little prayer for the guys and gals in the thick of it.
This is the Information Minister, on a 7-10 split, signing off.
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Post by Codename T on Nov 15, 2007 17:23:45 GMT -5
The News Team has also taken the infirmary to be our personal headquarters, as well.
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Post by 23skidoo on Nov 19, 2007 11:33:21 GMT -5
The fight continues, the rumors abound!
I never picked up that spare but who cares, I bowl to wear tight trousers and look good, hitting the pins is secondary.
This last week has been fairly raucous, the dead are slowing down, possibly worn out by our good spirits and sharp axes. We continue to sing and draw battle plans in the dirt of the exercise yard. Ed says this takes him back to WW1 when they were trying to escape from the Bosch. He's good at the stick in the dirt thing, I always end up playing tic-tac-toe...
Apparently a gauntlet has been thrown down by the 'big bash', we hold our ground and nothing, we lose and we have to run with them, dead and dirty, for a fortnight. This is crazy, they will come and we will beat them down with golf clubs and empty bottles. Their best are not worthy of our worst and we will offer them nothing to eat bar their words!
I'm going to go and throw a ball against a wall for a while and whistle a catchy tune.
Keep fighting the Natsy's viewers, in whatever guise they take!
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Post by Codename T on Nov 19, 2007 12:24:18 GMT -5
Big Bash isn't coming unless we make the bet, as Fort Perryn is out of the way... I suggested to them that we have our climactic tussle elsewhere... however, Feral Undead appears to be Desiring our good-looking brainz.
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Post by 23skidoo on Nov 24, 2007 12:43:23 GMT -5
Lately I've taken to having a morning stroll with 'A Man Named T'. We'd shoot the breeze, we'd shoot the zombies and try out new intro's and sign off's.
This morning I popped out into the exercise yard and nothing....no T. I asked around, 'he's gone' they said, 'he's hanging up his mike'.
I was shocked! This guy had been at the station almost as long as Ron. How could he walk away from the News Team? Then I heard a voice in my head, not one of the usual ones either. It said 'I'm bringing classiness to those that need it most, I'm bringing sound to the deaf, sight to the blind and scotch to the sober. I can do this better on my own for this is my destiny. Stay classy Minister, keep the signal pure, and look out for my friend, Codename GT, for he's the balls'.
Then my confusion passed like the sting from a freshly slapped face. And I decided to write a verse, to celebrate the life of an old News Hound.
Let me tell you the story of a man called 'T' A finer newsman there just couldn't be A history of violence, glory and song Master of the banjo, shotgun and gong The numbers dont matter Never tell him the odds Smile as he brawls and praises the gods A rabbit punch A sucker punch A kick to the nuts 'T' gets the job done No 'if's' and no 'buts'
God speed old man, watch out for the bears!
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Post by Codename T on Nov 24, 2007 14:31:51 GMT -5
GT's been wanting to take some morning strolls, but he's been pulling all-nighters lately in the gatehouse... probably trying to figure out what to do next.
That being said, very touching piece of work. If T could see it, he'd probably cry cancer-curing scotchwater and say "when in Rome".
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Post by 23skidoo on Nov 28, 2007 15:20:23 GMT -5
The games afoot and it appears the News Team are back in Rome again!
The big bash chickened out of the deal. They saw an old interview Ron did with Walt Disney and decided they didn't want a piece of that action. What they didn't realise is that the choice was no longer theirs. Nobody bandy's words with us without expecting a bloodied nose, so thats what we're going to give them.
The Rangers, as always, made the 1st move. As Buckley Mall squirmed under the weight of the Bash the Rangers threw themselves into the fray, heedless of their peril, loud in their song. We should have been there too but some of the guys were still a little shaky from the moonshine karaoke party the night before. By the time we saddled our bears and headed off the mall had fallen, but not without courage. The Rangers regroup and it's our time to hold the line, and hold it we shall.
Let the hammer fall upon us for we are ready. We are groomed and the bash is doomed.
This is the Information Minister, signing off for Channel 4.
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Post by blue tigers on Nov 29, 2007 0:00:59 GMT -5
Information Minister, these posts are really great. I am looking for your permission to post a link on the Wiki page, under Special Reports. I would also like to add the latest post, to give readers a taste of your developing story.
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Post by Codename T on Nov 29, 2007 10:03:12 GMT -5
I really enjoy these updates of yours, Minister. It's an honor to have such a badass reporter trucking along in Angerstein with my initial-strike group. ;D
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Post by 23skidoo on Dec 5, 2007 11:59:08 GMT -5
Well folks, it's been a damn interesting few days and I'm glad to be here to relay it to you.
Ron felt that the Team were a little rusty and may have forgotten how to play together in his absence. The solution - A Team Building Exercise against the Bash in East Graywood! This would help us sharpen our senses, tune up our singing voices, toughen up our knuckles and harden our livers.
GT and a few others arrived first, picking the Angerstein NT as a good base of operations. We alerted the locals to our mission and welcomed as many of them as wanted to join in.
Thankfully the initial assaults were fairly weak as Ron, funny guy, had replaced all our ammo with blanks. We got the joke and the zombies got the butt - of our shotguns!
As the exercise went on the Bash stepped up the heat. Our guns were firing so fast we had to get Baxter to pee on them to cool them down. Luckily he can do this and still cause damage with his front paws. Newhill gave it a shot but the no hands thing just gave him a wet leg and me a wet face.
In the end it was too much, the Bash gave it full force and we had to gracefully retire. But we were glorious, as always, and full of song and death. This was just a warm up, the best is yet to come.
So regroup News Team and patch up the holes, dont forget to warm down either - we dont want any pulled muscles on the next caper.
And a big thanks to all our friends and allies who pitched up and got stuck in, and also to the Bash for allowing us to play you.
Till next time.....
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Post by Codename T on Dec 12, 2007 9:39:37 GMT -5
Once more, great update. I am your fan, sir, and I always enjoy watching your work just before going on-air myself. ;D
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Post by Magatsu Taito on Dec 12, 2007 10:29:25 GMT -5
I have not yet remarked on the latest report? I must be getting old, or maybe tis the rum thas getting on me skull...
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Post by 23skidoo on Dec 12, 2007 18:25:55 GMT -5
It's just as well I get paid by the hour and not by the word. In all the confusion of the past daze I've forgotten to get any reports out. The station chiefs tell me that ratings are up though so they'll cut me a little slack!
Angerstein left me pretty much drained. I haven't had to use my axe for a while in the course of duty. Normally a camera, perfect smile and a shotgun seem to be all I need to get by. Now I'm having to pack blister cream and raljex for my hands and biceps.
The Team are pretty spread out, bringing you a good overview of the Malton situation. Blesley Mall was seeing some hot action but communication from there has been cut off. This bodes badly but it could just be that Ron decided that powering a fridge full of beer was more important than the radio - and who can blame him.
Reports are coming in from all over of seamless links and damn fine camera work and it looks like a busy news week is in progress. I'll do my best to keep you updated as the situations change.
On a final note, one of our finest has decided to leave the hustle and bustle of the news team and set up on his own. Tovarisch is going rogue on the airwaves, broadcasting his thoughts and observations on channel 27.04.
My first experience of Tova was after a particularly nasty encounter with Mantooth. I was cut up pretty bad and oozing from places I don't even want to think about. In he walked with his medic kit in his hand. 'It'll take more than a band-aid comrade' I groaned. 'How about Scotch-Aid then' he said with a smile. He brought out a bottle of Johnny Walker and proceeded to pour it over my wounds and down my throat. The pain was intense, if I'd had a gun I'd have shot him, then I passed out. When I came to he was still there beside me, smoking a cigar and shooting at the bastards that were trying to claw their way through the window.
So good luck to you out there Tova, and to all you others that are just trying to survive.
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Post by Codename T on Dec 12, 2007 23:56:28 GMT -5
Ratings just came in... we're still number 1! ;D
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Post by Tovarisch Khrushchev on Dec 13, 2007 0:34:27 GMT -5
*sniffle*
I think I'm going to cry.
Excuse me...I need to go to the ladies room!
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