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Post by Noah on May 1, 2009 16:04:22 GMT -5
That's what she said! Before I had a knife in my head from the Sexist jokes. Sexist jokes? Don't mind if I do. My apologies in advance to Winka and any other females who reads this. I don't agree with them, I'm just relaying them Q. Why are women's feet so small? A. So they can get closer to the oven! Q. Why don't women wear watches? A. Because there's a clock on the stove! Q. How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Who cares, she can do the dishes in the dark! Q. What did you do wrong if your wife comes out of the kitchen and starts yelling at you? A. You made the leash to long! Q. Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A. Because she was a woman! Three blond chicks have to get across a river. The first one says, "I wish I was smart enough to get across this river," and POOF she turns into a burnette and swims across. The second blonde says, "I wish I was smarter than that ast girl so that I can get across this river," and POOF she turns into a red-head, builds a boat and sails across. The last blonde says "I wish I was smarter than those last two girls so that I could get across this river," and POOF she turns into a man and walks across the bridge. |
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Post by Noah on May 1, 2009 20:35:27 GMT -5
Oh noes! I double posted! Read up everyone and make your brains fat
We’re all going to die someday, when and how is the mystery of life. We all make plans for the future but all it takes is that one moment in time when we start to cross the street at the wrong time. It only takes that one truck turning the corner, the truck we never seee, to turn all those future plans we’ve made into a waste of preparation for something that will never come. Or maybe we get all of our dreams but end hopeless because we've already achieved all of our hopes. We sit out the last years of our lives in the comfort of our paid-off home watching reruns of the shows we used to watch, wishing for those frightful times when we were uncertain. Would we be able to support our families? Were our jobs secure? Would that lady from Vegas ever reemerge and tell my wife I was already taken before she ever entered the picture? But sometimes someone gets it right. They hit the nail of life on the head and die content that they did everything they ever wanted and nothing more. I want to be one of those guys.
People talk about their lives' goals. They talk about wanting to raise a family, going to foreign lands, learning how to skydive, but is that really what life is all about? If I do all these things have I really experienced life? I want to wake up in a bed with a random person and wonder if I've just done something I will cry over in the confines of my bathroom. I want to look the judge in the eyes and say, “Yes, I know what I did is wrong but I don’t regret it.” I want to walk down the street with people whispering behind my back and know that, even though they’re all talking about the incident, they only do so because they wish they had the freedom I did at that moment. To me life isn’t about some grand achievement. It’s about doing something that no one says you should just because it is your life. Society only looks down on us because we are free-spirits and they know that they’ll never reach the heights which we have touched in our souls. Sometimes feeling wrong is right.
Today my friend and I decided to become famous for random shenanigans but one of our friends didn't think we would succeed. She said that it was impossible. We didn’t see a negative. We saw a challenge. We are planning capers that will astound the world. We want to do things that make people put down their work, gather around the TV and wonder what will happen next. We want to make news where no one dies, no one is crying, and everyone goes home happy. If this means breaking the law, is that all that bad? We only have one summer left together and we want our names to be branded in the town’s history books. We'll be like Jack the Ripper except we’ll treat the hookers to cake and ice cream instead of killing them. I think they’d like that, don’t you?
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Post by winka on May 1, 2009 22:21:53 GMT -5
If I make one or two ridiculous assumptions,I find everything you say and do is totally justified...
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Post by Leon Silverblood on May 2, 2009 1:40:15 GMT -5
 Because I can. That's beautiful |
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Post by Noah on May 2, 2009 7:20:51 GMT -5
If I make one or two ridiculous assumptions,I find everything you say and do is totally justified... It takes me far more than one or two. |
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Post by Angel on May 2, 2009 7:26:26 GMT -5
Justification? In my forum? GTFO
Justifications are for those who are afraid of the outcome.
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Post by Noah on May 2, 2009 7:27:55 GMT -5
Justification? In my forum? GTFO Justifications are for those who are afraid of the outcome. I fear nothing!...except the pixies who dance outside my door at night, cackling and grinning as they dance their menacing dances in the moonlight. |
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Post by Angel on May 2, 2009 18:14:08 GMT -5
Have they tried to rape you yet? If not, plug your butt with garlic. Only way to stop them.
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Post by Vito The Don on May 2, 2009 19:50:13 GMT -5
My apologies, I told my ecstasy taking brother to stop stalking you with his friends, but he never listens
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Post by Angel on May 2, 2009 19:57:18 GMT -5
Shame on your brother!
We should stalk him! Show him how creepy it is!
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Post by Leon Silverblood on May 3, 2009 14:08:41 GMT -5
Counter-stalking. How very cloak-and-dagger.
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Post by Noah on May 3, 2009 14:15:58 GMT -5
Counter-stalking. How very cloak-and-dagger. It's kinda awkward when you counter-stalk the person stalking you. You both just sit there in the mall staring at each other from behind the information quiosks, sipping your sodas slowly. |
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Post by Angel on May 3, 2009 15:14:41 GMT -5
No, See, Vito's brother is stalking you. Me and Leon will stalk Vito's brother. There is no stalking of the stalker by the stalked. So it all works out.
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Post by asshole doctor™ on May 3, 2009 20:30:39 GMT -5
new game.
ban the person above.
Angel is banned for being " """"" etc etc.
when i check back this had better be funny.
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Post by Leon Silverblood on May 3, 2009 21:01:06 GMT -5
Angel is banned for -
being a stalker. And trying to make me an accomplice.
Harrison is banned for not being a team player. Stalk with Angel!- oh wait, someone else's turn. Right. My bad.
Harrison is banned for being " ".
when he checks back, this had better be funny.
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