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Post by winka on May 17, 2009 8:06:58 GMT -5
I would like to discuss a trend of the modern age of some irritation to me . I am tired of being bossed around by machines.  The fridge got a little huffy with me last night after I sat down with a nice cold drink to watch a bit of television, so I just ignored it. I have since then appoligized to the fridge but it has been surprisingly cool to me. |
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Post by Angel on May 17, 2009 8:18:39 GMT -5
Did it order you to clean it out? Mines always yelling at me saying "Clean me you cunt!", or "Hey, my filter needs changed! You want more clean water don't you?" I tend to end up as a slave for my electronic items.  |
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Post by winka on May 17, 2009 16:16:53 GMT -5
Indeed,my whole kitchen taunts me. The microwave with its beckoning beep and knowing winks as I heat up a leftover.
The oven with its warning timer as i let the toast burn , which finally even gets to the ceiling smoke alarm which screams to high heaven in frustration.
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Post by Angel on May 17, 2009 17:37:20 GMT -5
I don't have smoke alarms. The cocky bastards think they can go and demand new batteries whenever they want! I showed the buggers a nicer, quieter friend of mine. Mister Sludge Hammer. They became very close friends. >: )
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Post by Noah on May 17, 2009 19:52:33 GMT -5
I have had some meaningful conversation with my kitchen appliances. The toaster is an expert on Rembrandt and Monet while the refrigerator studies complex string theory. My knives set explained advanced calulus and trigonometrey when I needed help. Kitchen apppliances are quite intelligent. The living room, on the other hand... The TV is a retard and the couch is an alcoholic. It's yelling at me to get my ass off of its face and doesn't understand that that's what I pay it for. If it wants to go find a new job mroe power to it. I'm not stopping it.
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Post by Angel on May 17, 2009 20:19:12 GMT -5
I don't have a couch. But I do have a TV. It demand new and innovating video games, though I keep trying to explain to it that the computer is the one who gets to have games played on it. The TV is for less important things.
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Post by winka on May 17, 2009 21:13:55 GMT -5
Oh OH ...and don't get me started on the new cars. I have a friend with one who gives me a lift from time to time. It is a TOTAL BITCH of a car and I mean that in an unkind way. It starts nagging at you the minute you sit down to put on your seat belt .You are not allowed to hardly get out of the driveway ..much less on the road ...no time for pleasantries... hello ,how are you?... no... it's ding, ding,ding ding, DING, DING And god forbid if she uses the GPS system . One missed turn and it's sneering... RECALCULATINg with that condescending tone . Someday...BAM  |
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Post by Noah on May 17, 2009 22:09:50 GMT -5
My GPS is a bitch too.
"You want to go THERE?! Oh...my...gosh. Do you actually expect to find anything in there worth a damn? God, if you shop there I don't know how you ever afforded me. Now arriving at Sax Fifth. Yes, I know this isn't were you wanted but let's face it, you need a serious make-over."
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Post by Argo on May 18, 2009 13:13:17 GMT -5
"Turn. Turn! TURN!!! Turn down your goddamn music and maybe you'll HEAR ME!"
The laptop is scheming, I know it. It'll electrocute me in my sleep, likely with a pillow over my face so my screams are silent. Malicious, mocking bastard. I hope it knows how to fly out of a window at 20 mph.
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Post by Angel on May 18, 2009 14:40:24 GMT -5
I don't think you could throw a laptop out of a window at 20 mph. At least, not efficiently. Make a catapult. It's fun, not electric so it won'r be a cunt, and can be used later.  |
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Post by Vito The Don on May 18, 2009 15:37:17 GMT -5
Mine is british, so "Sharp Left" sounds like "Shoplift" Plus I swear to god it once told me to make and I quote "Make an illegal U turn at the next possible convinient location"
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Post by Angel on May 18, 2009 17:29:01 GMT -5
Wait a sec, Don has a working avatar? Since when?
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Post by Argo on May 19, 2009 0:56:44 GMT -5
I don't think you could throw a laptop out of a window at 20 mph. At least, not efficiently. Make a catapult. It's fun, not electric so it won'r be a cunt, and can be used later. I'll use a football throwing machine. Or a baseball pitching machine. That would be awesome. Almost as awesome as the people moshing in the elevator. |
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Post by Leon Silverblood on May 19, 2009 2:57:27 GMT -5
you could throw if it's little! like an Hp Mini or an Asus?
What if the people were moshing and then the elevator catapulted them out? Right through some glass, 9 stories down into a food court. Into the Chinese food.
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Post by Angel on May 19, 2009 5:24:12 GMT -5
Then the rumours of Chinese being cannibals would be true!
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