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Post by Sarpek on May 5, 2009 16:40:14 GMT -5
Sarpek groans, and fires up the buick engine, switching it into 1st gear, which happens to lead to the scrapyard Artillery cannon. He messes with yet another gear shift, bringing the gun down and around to aim directly at Michelle. He works the arming lever, trips the switch, and plugs his ears. The barrel rings like a bell as a conglomeration of scrap metal is sent flying by a fertilizer bomb.
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Post by Noah on May 5, 2009 18:54:58 GMT -5
The safety zone is rolling. Loud noises echo from outside but he's safe inside. Nothing touches him here. A bright line forms and a strange being enters. The five headed beast snatches his snack bag and disappears into the light. Looks like the aliens are back. He pulls another bag of chips out and keeps eating. It's safe again. Loud noises echo around him but he's safe inside.
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Post by Leon Silverblood on May 6, 2009 13:26:39 GMT -5
With her death rays hissing through the air around him, Leon feels his inner smart ass reawaken. "I just asked to see 'em, not play with em! That's the SECOND date!!"
He comes up just enough to take a few shots at her with his rifle. He knows he's hit his mark, but sees no effect.
"WTF? Cybernetic organism? Living tissue over metal endoskeleton?...Nah!" He shakes it off, raises the fridge, and pushes it toward the door, using it for cover. "I'm gonna put a little pinecone right up that frisky butt..." Leon mutters to himself, pulling the pin on a little green friend.
((lmao Noah))
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Post by Michelle O.bama on May 6, 2009 14:02:49 GMT -5
She curls up her lip at Leon in a half sneer, half snarl as his impotent lead thumps into her chest and falls harmlessly away.
"I'm the new model Executive Enforcement Agent, honey. The six billion dollar bitch. I'm the left hand of the president doing the dirty work. What Uncle Sam wants done Uncle Sam gets done and Uncle Sam wants you all. Done.
And all your little toy guns and grenades aren't going to save you but don't stop trying. It's so much more fun for me this way! But it's going to take a lot more than that peashooter there-"
The air is filled with a sound like the rape of wind chimes. Thousands of bits of jagged and irregular metal shrapnel scrape their way across her body as Sarpek's blast hits her. A loud PINK! is heard as an especially large, cinderblock-sized hunk of steel slams directly into her chest even as she's spun like a top by the iron wind.
Michelle O.bama flies backward into the rubble of a building and more of the ruined structure collapses on top of her.
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Post by Leon Silverblood on May 6, 2009 21:36:50 GMT -5
"Well. That settles that, then...NEEEEEEEEEEEXT!"
Leon turns his back on the tavern door, opening the fridge. "Beer anyone?"
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Post by Noah on May 7, 2009 5:03:34 GMT -5
The children are trying to steal his Lucky Charms cereal again!
"Not this time, meh laddies!" Lucky the Leprechaun (Noah) yells in a bad irish accent.
He mule kicks the bad child (Leon) in his stomach, knocking him back. He slams the door of his magic cottage (the fridge) shut.
"Better luck next time, kiddies."
Noah has gone thouroughly nuts.
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Post by Vito The Don on May 7, 2009 5:08:57 GMT -5
Suddenly Vito bursts in from the basement cellar, as per his usual sate, firing a gun wildly over his shoulder whilst being chased. He jumps out and pushes the fridge over onto the top of the trap door. "Did it ever occur to you guys to warn me that the mall is CRAWLING WITH GODDAMN ZEDS?" Vito runs over to the door peering outside at the ensuing chaos. An IRA member takes notice of him and prepares to throw a grenade his way. As his pulls out the pin, Vito shoots his hand, causing the live grenade to drop with hilarious results.
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Post by Leon Silverblood on May 7, 2009 14:33:16 GMT -5
Gasping for breath and down on one knee, Leon musters his wind to say "They're ALL crawling with zeds, Vito. We thought you might be throwing them a birthday party. Who the hell is in the fridge? Noah? How did he even fit in there for christ's sake? And where are his crazy pills?"
Standing, Leon grabs a half bottle of vodka and sips.
"You missed your friends. Well, one of them anyway. What the hell did you do to piss off Michelle O.bama? She just...Christ, you wouldn't believe me if I told you."
((Edit: O.bama gets replaced with Rumplestiltskin? Who came up with that one))
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Post by Noah on May 7, 2009 14:58:08 GMT -5
The potato hears scratching underneath the vegetable drawer. It sounds as though many hands want to break through and grab the poor little potato. The potato doesn't want to be eaten but what can it do? Potatos have no legs to run away upon nor arms to crawl away. Of course, potatos also don't have ears to hear scratching nor brains to think about being eaten, but the potato is quite insane so it doesn't quite understand these things.
Noah is lying in the dark, curled in a fetal position. The zombies are attempting to claw through the fridge and only the thin steel seperates them and Noah. He is whispering quietly to himself.
"Potato...potato...potato..."
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Post by Leon Silverblood on May 7, 2009 15:46:45 GMT -5
Leon puts his ear to to the fridge and listens, then stands back up and looks at Vito. "I think he said he wants a radio. Dude, we've gotta do something about him. He's lost it. Let's get him out of there."
Leon grabs some rope and passes the don a syringe. "Morphine. I'll drag him out, you stick him, we'll tie him up."
For a moment, Leon considers the fact that Noah is actually pretty safe in the refrigerator, but he dismisses the notion. It's only safe in there as long as there are no zeds around. Were that to happen, he'd be as safe as a tv dinner at fat camp. Mashed potatoes.
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Post by Noah on May 7, 2009 15:57:24 GMT -5
Noah would be thinking about how nice it is to be a piece of cereal floating in a bowl of milk, bumping into other pieces all around him. He would be thinking about that except cereal can't think. Cereal with thoughts is just silly.
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Post by Leon Silverblood on May 7, 2009 16:11:53 GMT -5
((You get karma for being one funny son of a bitch!))
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Post by Noah on May 7, 2009 17:44:06 GMT -5
[OOC=]Do whatever you want with my character (within reason) that you would do with a crazy person and I will provide the insane commentary running through his mind.[/OOC]
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Post by Sarpek on May 7, 2009 20:27:57 GMT -5
Sarpek carefully opens the fridge. "Noah? Noah... I brought you your shotgun.
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Post by Leon Silverblood on May 8, 2009 0:30:54 GMT -5
Leon turns from facing Vito, his eyes widening as he shouts "Sarpek, no!!" too late to intervene.
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