albub
Full Member
Posts: 193
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Post by albub on Jun 10, 2009 22:15:04 GMT -5
Dan sheds a tear for Jimmy's now messy hair. He stands, fire in his eyes, and gives Jayson a hard shot in the liver, disabling him. He lifts Jayson from the ground by his shirt and then grabs him under the arm and by the hair. As Jayson stumbles and tries to stand Dan starts to pull him forward, taking him off balance. He sends him in Axe's direction, and Jayson crashes to the ground in front of Axe, impeding him. Dan then retreats to his grenade launcher and lifts it to his shoulder, ready to fire his canister round full of buckshot at anyone who gets close.
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Post by Definitely Not Axe Hack on Jun 10, 2009 22:31:24 GMT -5
Axe dodges Sarpek's tackle, then jumps out of the way as Jayson is thrown in front of him. Axe creaps into the shadows. Jayson proceeds to take off a now tatered suit of armor he had been wearing under his clothes. He then puts on a fresh set of armor. The DJ creaps towards his turntable and sets one of his records on play. Fight music from the Street Fighter video games begin to play. The DJ then charges at Jayson, but from out of the blue, Axe drops from the ceiling and body slams the DJ. Axe picks up his axe and raises it. Jayson tosses his chainsaw at Axe, but misses, and hits the axe in Axe's hands. The axe is knocked out of Axe's hands and is sent flying at Dan. The axe misses Dan by an inch. However, the chainsaw is also sent flying towards Dan, and it has a head on course straight for Dan. The DJ reaches under a table and grabs an unopen bottle of beer. He breaks the bottle and attempts to stab Axe with it, but Axe jumps out of the way, only to be grabbed and thrown by Jayson. Axe is thrown halfway accross the room to Sarpek. The DJ tackles Jayson, and Jayson takes the hit, taking a few steps back, stepping onto Noah and his "family jewels". Axe knocks off Sarpek's helmet and pushes him into Jimmy, who falls backwards and knocks into Dan. The DJ charges at Axe, but Axe dives out of the way, forcing the DJ to tackle Sarpek's suit of armor.
BANG! as the DJ's head collides with the armor.
"OW!!!!"
Axe takes out a knife and throws it at the DJ. The DJ spots it, and catches the knife with two fingers. He then tosses the knife upwards and catches the knife on the handle. The DJ throws the knife in Axe's direction. Axe ducks, and the knife flies towards Jayson. Jayson grabs a bat against the wall and swings, hitting the knife. The knife now flies towards Dan.
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Post by Noah on Jun 10, 2009 23:00:50 GMT -5
Noah comes out of his alcoholic stupor as Jayson steps on the boys. He screams in pain for about two minutes. Whilst he screams he also swings the double barreled shotgun up and blasts the knife out of the air. It ricochets of the back wall in such a way that it bounces back and impales Jayson in the leg.
"Fuck yeah!"
Noah slumps back down in extreme pain and drunkeness.
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Post by Definitely Not Axe Hack on Jun 11, 2009 16:53:31 GMT -5
Jayson pulls the knife out of his leg only to be tackled by Axe. The DJ is behind his turntable again.
"Street Fighter is so stale. Tekken is better!"
Fight music from Tekken begins to play. Jayson gets up and tackles the DJ. Axe grabs Jayson and throws him. Jayson lands on Noah. Jayson picks up Noah and tosses him at Axe. Axe ducks and Noah flies into Sarpek, instead.
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albub
Full Member
Posts: 193
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Post by albub on Jun 12, 2009 14:19:07 GMT -5
Dan ducks out of the way of the chainsaw, rolling under a table. He looks over at Jimmy, preparing to leap into action if someone comes up behind his new friend.
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Post by Noah on Jun 12, 2009 14:54:19 GMT -5
Unconscious Noah is unconsciously thinking "This kind of stuff never happened to me when I was insane."
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Post by Definitely Not Axe Hack on Jun 14, 2009 18:34:24 GMT -5
Axe picks up Noah's unconscious body and uses Noah's head as a battering ram and charges at both the DJ and Jayson. Jayson dives out of the way, but the DJ gets struck and is sent flying at the table where Dan is currently under. The DJ gets up and picks up the table and throws it at Axe. Axe uses Noah as a shield. The table hits Noah on the head. Axe throws Noah at the DJ, but Noah instead lands on Dan. The DJ looks down at his two fallen companions.
"Now is not a good time to be laying around. Especially if there's a PKer and a zombie killing PKer that we need to kick out of this bar."
Jayson throws a flaming bottle of beer at the DJ. The DJ ducks, and the flaming bottle of beer hits Jimmy instead. Jimmy's hair is lit on fire like a Christmas tree.
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Post by Noah on Jun 14, 2009 20:37:08 GMT -5
In an unprecedented event Noah explodes in flames due to spontaneous self combustion. In mere seconds he's transformed from the unconscious, drunk, near comatose person to a pile of gray ash.
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Post by Leon Silverblood on Jun 15, 2009 8:00:05 GMT -5
Leon staggers up from the basement, a bottle of whiskey in one hand, a crocodile tail in the other.
"Hey! Jeshish Chrisch!"
He sways to one side and then lobs the crocodile into the fray. Val Kilmer, the bartender, dumps a gigantic vat of ground meat of questionable origin and quality right over Sarpek's head and snuffs the fire. Leon sways and slurs,
"You god dam...-sway-...bar the dam...-sway-...you damn bars fight stopping in here!!!"
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Post by Definitely Not Axe Hack on Jun 15, 2009 13:35:11 GMT -5
Axe hears Leon.
"Oh you can go fuck yourself."
Axe picks up an axe and charges at Leon. Jayson picks up his chainsaw and charges at Axe.
"No body kills anybody in here except me, punk!"
Jayson swings his chainsaw at axe, knocking the axe out of Axe's hands. The axe flies towards the DJ. The DJ ducks. The axe hits a collection of music CDs in the corner. The DJ looks at the mess.
"That's it! I've had it with these PKers in this mother fucking bar!!!"
The DJ picks up a small pile of Paris Hilton CDs and begins chucking them at both Axe and Jayson. Axe jumps out of the way while Jayson uses his chainsaw as a baseball bat.
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Post by Sarpek on Jun 15, 2009 14:29:29 GMT -5
There is a tink which is audible above the uproar. Sarpek raises his fist, clutching a hand grenade, the pin on the floor. "STAHB!" He glares at the fighters. Realizing the existence of the meat, he throws the grenade at Jason, and begins to eat the meat, still zombified.
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Post by Definitely Not Axe Hack on Jun 15, 2009 15:01:25 GMT -5
Jayson swings at the grenade with his chainsaw, hitting it towards the DJ.
"HOMERUN!!!!! And the crowd goes wild!!!!"
KA-BLAM!!!!!!! as the DJ gets blasted off his feet.
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Post by jimmymoog on Jun 16, 2009 15:56:35 GMT -5
Jimmy shakes his head, claering the momentary daze he suffered at the loss of his awesome haircut. "Dammit! Now I have I'll have to settle for an awesome buzz-cut!" He picks up one of the Paris Hilton cds, and peruses. "Hey, this is one of the copies that Gnarls Barkley remixed!*" It goes into his pocket. "Now." He storms over to Jayson, ignoring the chanisaw, and grabs him by the lapels. "Tell me one thing, punk... How did you get a bottle of beer to light on fire? Even at 12% proof, it's still mostly water." ((* true story- www.spin.com/articles/danger-mouse-banksy-burn-paris))((**EDIT** Link is just a teeny bit NSFW; nothing too serious, tho.)) |
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Post by Definitely Not Axe Hack on Jun 24, 2009 15:21:32 GMT -5
Axe tackles Jayson just as Jimmy grabs him. Axe headbutts Jimmy in the groin instead. Jayson is dropped. The DJ picks up an axe and charges at Axe. Axe blocks with his own axes. Axe knocks the DJ down, then heads for the door.
"Sorry folks! Time for me to go! A manhunt named after me starts in a few, and this little bar fight was more than enough preparations I needed. Later!"
Jayson gets up, picks up his chainsaw, and runs after Axe.
"Get back here, you hacking punk!"
The DJ grabs a handfull of Paris Hilton CDs and chucks one at Jayson, but misses. The DJ runs after both Jayson and Axe.
"There's gonna be hell to pay! Get back here, you two lousy PKing jack asses!"
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Post by Magatsu Taito on Jun 26, 2009 19:58:28 GMT -5
The End.
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