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Post by asshole doctor™ on May 14, 2007 10:58:47 GMT -5
than I parachuted outta the sky. shooting count less buckshot and lobbing Molotov cocktails. till his poor bones are dust. no reanimation for this poor soul. for Leon is truly free. with the fire going hot from the cocktails. sexual Harrison does an amazing "hovna na gelia" dance around the blazing corpse. picture a Mexican hat dance but with fire and a big Jew with a police issue shotgun. thank god i knew he would never last. (cut to black hawk helicopter taking sexual back to the action in NW malton.)
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Post by avernaith on May 14, 2007 16:55:57 GMT -5
The barricades (such as they are) start to creak as something presses hard against them. Pounding starts, then a sharp sound like a pistol being fired. Finally, a desert tan combat boot smashes through a piece of board, and a grubby looking black man enters behind it, struggling with an awkward, pink plastic wrapped basket. The man is dressed in tattered urban grey camos with a few weeks of funk gathered on the sleeves and legs. In place of a backpack, he has an assortment of shotguns and a well-used aluminum bat. He stomps across the floor to one of the remaining tables and drops the basket down with a thud. The thud comes from the basket itself, which looks like a sooty fireman's helmet, a Fire Marshal's cover from the looks of the shiny badge. The 'basket' is filled with all sorts of goodies, which start spilling onto the table as Spray Can cuts open the pink plastic wrapping.
"Damn, I'd a done come up in here sooner if I'd of known you wuz gonna give me a damn Easter basket. Shit, and it ain't even Easter. Lessee what you all be givin' me. To Charlotte, from Templeton. What sorta shit be that? My name is Spray Can. S-P-R-A-Y Can. Charlotte. Shit that ain't even close. And who be Templeton? Dickhole Guy, he always be pullin shit like dis. We gots white and dark chocolate Twix, some ramens, a jar of...what tha fuck? Artichoke hearts? Who be eatin that shit? Where's the pickled pig's feet? Jus' like my Momma always made. I luvs you Black Betty, wherever you is!"
Spray Can shuffles through more of the basket's contents, dislodging a stuffed animal (a big fuzzy spider), setting aside a six-pack of Jones Green Apple, and a bag of dill pickle potato chips. "You guys don't know me at all. I don't like none of this. Tin Drum? Das gotta be the dumbest movie title I ever heard of, an I ain't even got me a DVD playa. Peeps, lil smokies, saltines, hummus...what is this? HEY MEL-O-DEE, get yo scrawny ass down here. I got's to ask you some questions. Whatchu givin' me all this crap fo? You knows what I likes, baby. How bout some damn Newports, or maybe some damn Popeye's take out. Goddamn burger maybe. MEL-O-DEE, where you at, girl?! You gots to see what some crazy cracka left on yo front doorstep!"
Satisfied at last that the basket isn't for him, Spray Can holds up a piece of shiny silk near the bottom of the basket. A pink babydoll tee with a fiery red heart and the words 'Firemen Are Hot'. "Oh MEL-O-DEE, I b'lieves you gonna like these here gifts I done brought up fo you! Come on down an' take you a look baby! You gonna luvs them!"
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Post by Melody Arachne on May 14, 2007 18:54:25 GMT -5
Melody takes the stairs down two at a time, sliding along the railing to make it over the gaping hole in the center.
"Get your grubby hands outta my basket, you scavenger! Sheesh!" She shoulders Spray Can to reach the table, lifting on her toes to give him a quick peck on the cheek. "What's the good word, homey? OOOH! Shiny!" She snatches the short shirt and holds it up in front of her, where it barely covers the tied-off dress shirt and bare midriff. "Does this look like it's for you? I think not. Watch my stuff, I gotta change..."
Grabbing a candy bar and her new shirt, she heads for the womens' room, giving a wave to Tovarisch. "Hola, comrade, the basement's fulla zombiefied animal life, so don't try the tunnel, right? Where the heck did I leave my chucks...?"
She emerges a few moments later, the new shirt doing wonders for her attributes. Hair up in messy pigtails, pink high-top tennis shoes replacing her normal combat boots, and a red short skirt complete the new outfit. She twirls once or twice before going back to the pile of goodies, plucking a shiny fireman's badge on a chain from the helmet and slipping it on over her neck.
"You say this stuff was on the doorstep, SC?" She gives him a narrow-eyed gaze, spoiled by the smile threatening to emerge. "How much if it fell into your pockets, bruthah? Could be I can rustle you up a burger, but we're outta cheese. And it might be fairer to call it "ground meat patty" than hamburger ..."
She gathers up her goodies, carrying them behind the bar and placing the stuffed spider carefully atop the mirror's frame. Pushing open the kitchen door, she peers into the uncertain gloom beyond. "ValJon! Burger up, man!"
She shakes her head, moving to fill a short glass with Tanqueray for SC and pass it across the bar. "You boys aren't gonna have much peace and quiet to enjoy your drinks unless you get off your butts and fix my front door ..."
Passing the empty go-go cage, she carefully shuts the door, turning the sign so it's easily read from the outside ...
"Reserved for Leon"
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Post by Vito The Don on May 14, 2007 20:48:56 GMT -5
Vito slowly walks down from upstairs, also sporting a new outfit. Gone is the tatterd fedora and Armani suit. He stands there with a T-shirt tha has a skull painted on to it. His sholders and legs riddled with holsters. "Vito is dead, he died with his family. All thats left is THE PUNISHER."
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Post by Definitely Not Axe Hack on May 15, 2007 8:57:16 GMT -5
Spinbad grabs a few things from one of his cases, heading start for the bathroom. A few minutes later, he comes back in, his dirty outfit changed with a New York Yankees baseball cap, a black Yankees baseball jersey that says JETER on the back, black basketball shorts, and a gold necklace that says Spinbad. He also has a pair of sunglasses resting on his cap.
"Eh...what's the occasion?"
He glances over at Vito.
"Thanks for the turntable, by the way. I didn't think you would have one, seeing you're the firearms type of guy..."
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Post by Vito The Don on May 15, 2007 18:29:36 GMT -5
"I do like music to." Vito replies as he loads his Dessert Eagle with 50. cals. "I love the new costumes changes around here, some variety."
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Post by Definitely Not Axe Hack on May 16, 2007 7:43:01 GMT -5
Spinbad begins rummaging through his cases. He looks through the case that is marked "IN CASE OF EMERGENCY and takes out a lot of stuff. He begins placing the "stuff" around his shiny, new, turntable. After 15 minutes of labor, his stuff has been placed down, just the way he wants it. There's a red laser surrounding the turntable.
"Heh...thought I would maximize security on that 5th turntable...Allow me to demonstrate..."
He tosses a pebble through one of the red laser beam. In a split second, a laser cannon weapon comes out and completely fries the pebble.
"It works, even if multiple lasers are tripped. Speaking of lasers..."
He tosses some of the laser setup to Vito.
"Care to help me set this up around the building?"
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Post by Vito The Don on May 17, 2007 18:31:53 GMT -5
Vito looks at the laser and but a .50 cal in it. Out of one of his magical duffle bags he pulls a Laser System 9000000. "It slices and dices, plus it disnigrates zombies." He throws the better laer back to Spinbad.
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Post by Melody Arachne on May 17, 2007 23:54:25 GMT -5
"Boys and their toys ... "
'C'mon, guys ... lasers? Where are we gonna find the sharks to mount them on? And what happens when a survivor finds his way to our door, huh? ZZZZZ-ZAP!"
Melody eyes the fellows critically. "Nice. Very nice. It's about time you guys started payin' attention to your wardrobe. Soem folks around here could do with haircuts and shaves, too, if you ask me. Just because someone wants to munch your brain is no reason to ignore proper grooming, am I right?"
She hops up onto the bar, pulling a smoke from the pack and tapping it on the countertop. "I think a major shopping trip is in order. Do you fellas think you could mind the bar for an hour while I run out?" She rolls her eyes eloquently. "Without burning it down or blowing it up?"
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Post by Definitely Not Axe Hack on May 18, 2007 6:55:06 GMT -5
"Oh...it won't blow up....or burn down. And if the freakin' door is probably going to be bolted shut like last time...just hang a silly sign on the door telling them to go to that ladder the zeds can't climb."
The DJ turns to Vito.
"Laser System 9000000, huh? I can beat that."
He reaches in his case and takes out yet another laser system. He tosses it at Vito.
"The Laser System EX. Probably one of the best laser protection system ever. It's light, and portable, but as deadly as hell. It's able to take down a M1A1 Abrams tank."
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Post by Vito The Don on May 20, 2007 17:43:47 GMT -5
"To quote the great Les Claypool 'Ima gonna getme one betta'."
Vito walks over to a locked cupboard and wrenches it open. He drags out a crate the size of a couch. He pulls out a crowbar and pulls it open. Inside is a massive laser with the soviet hammer a scythe on it.
"It the ßäåðíûé ëàçåð made by the soviets in 1984. It runs on depleated plutonium. Try beating this beast."
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Post by 23skidoo on May 22, 2007 9:23:09 GMT -5
'Its been a grubby couple of days' thought Jojo, 'and my minds still not made up about these batshit crazees over there'
Jojo felt a little better for rest and crocodile tails. He'd managed to scrounge a few goodies from the factory too. Whoever left this place had obviously left in a hurry. Although he had found no guns or ammo he had gotten his mitts on a couple of half smoked havanas and a half bottle of rum. The cigars would have to wait though, the dead would home in on them from 100 yards and no stogie was worth that kind of noise.
The situation next door was still a bit disconcerting. He'd watched a big guy come out, shoot the whole place up then ride off into the sunset...although there was no horse, it just seemed like there should have been. His gunshots echoed from the distance shortly after but his fate remained a mystery for jojo. Most likely he was dead, or undead, thats just the way things were these days.
Since then 2 others had bulldozed their way in, leaving the cades loose and hanging, thankfully none had come though, but it wasn't installing any confidence.
Then the music and a lazer show?! Who the hell had the balls to party in these times. Maybe that was the deciding factor, not the tunes, they were poor, but fighting for the right to party, thats worth getting out the gutter for.
Jojo decided to wait for darkness, then he'd approach the bar and try to get inside. Hopefully he'd be greeted by something other than brain lust or buckshot......
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Post by Prisonner Of Today on May 22, 2007 21:43:55 GMT -5
Priz comes back from god knows where to find the bar in chaos. Lasers and bullets fly around, and he has to duck carefully into the bar to avoid getting hit.
"This place sure has gotten unrealisticly and ridiculously American-movie-like." he mutters to himself, and reaching over the bar, he grabs a bottle of some generic booze. He sits down and pours himself a drink, apparently deciding that any scene this surreal is probably just a hallucination brought on by his lack of booze.
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Post by Melody Arachne on May 22, 2007 23:12:52 GMT -5
"Heya, Priz, long time no see." Mel gives him a beaming smile, and a copy of his bar bill. "No rush on that or nothin', you know how it is. Your credit's good here. Want a burger?"
She hops up to sit on the bar and watch the display of manly laserly light thingys. Tapping a marlboro out of a battered pack, she scrounges a light from beneath the bar and lights the smoke.
Crossing one long leg over the other, she jiggles her converse-clad foot and gives Priz an inquisitive gaze. "So where you been keeping yourself? I was planning a quick shopping trip ... any status report on the local malls?"
"Guys .. Hey! No shining those in each others' eyes, you hear? I am so not nursemaiding you if you go blind..."
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Post by Prisonner Of Today on May 23, 2007 0:32:22 GMT -5
"Who can resist a rat burger?" Priz grins, glad to see someone else in the bar who isn't wearing a trench coat. He glances at the bill, and rummaging through his pocket, pulls out a few small pieces of gold that look like they could be someone's teeth.
"I hope that takes care of the tab. Not worth alot, but who doesn't love shiny things?"
Pulling out his own cigars, he lights one up and continues "I've been here and there, mostly chasing after a guy who apparently disagreed with something I said while sleeping in Ackland and decided to take a few shots at me for it. I haven't spent much time as a mall rat, so I can't tell you much there, except that Ackland was safe quite a while back."
"I see this whole zombie apocolypse thing has taken it's toll on a few people." He chuckles, "This place seems a little more empty thanI remember. Everyone else get scared off by the flying bullets and laser pointers?"
He glances over at the comedy of lights and sounds being played out by Vito and Spinbad, looks around for a more familiar face, then shoots Mel a "please-oh-please-take-me-with-you-and-don't-leave-me-alone-with-these-crazies-with-Russian-lasers" look.
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