The Elbow Room

[privatefirstclass]

"Do you guys have a car?" Marcus askes Daniel. "It's not very peaceful outside at the moment. I think my crash stirred 'em up a bit, not to mention the psycho with the cannon."

[albub]

"A car? No. I just need directions, I'll get there. Zombies aren't a problem. I'd suggest you stay here though. I'm a collateral damage magnet."

Daniel pulls flask from the depths of his greatcoat and smells it. Apparently not satisfied, he puts it back in one of his pockets and removes a similar flask from the same pocket. He sips from it thoughtfully.

[Sarpek]

Moans are heard in the bar as a large horde begins to converge from all directions. Sarpek begins frantically shelling, but is only able to get off one shell every five seconds, and the fertilizer bombs don't do much against groups. He grimaces, and throws a third lever, locking several components into place, and trips the fire lever before running down the trapdoor. The gun continues to fire, pivoting slightly wiht every shot, Sarpek having developed a very crude and rather slow automatic system. "Guys, We've got company!" He yells.

[albub]

Daniel removes a carbine rifle from inside his greatcoat, unfolding the stock and cranking back the bolt. He yells up to Sarpek.

"I'm not so worried about zombies, you just keep that thing firing and make sure I've got somewhere to go from the roof."

He turns back to Marcus.

"This is important. Where is your house? I need to find Alex, or maybe his corpse if he killed himself properly. It's exceptionally important."

[privatefirstclass]

"Just head down the street for about an hour, i think i left the door open. Name on the mailbox is Coker. I'll cover you, i guess..." Coker runs to the window and starts firing at zeds.

[Definitely Not Axe Hack]

A lone man wearing a black baseball cap wanders down the streets. He bumps into Marcus around the corner.

"Oh...Sorry. Can you direct me to the Elbow Room Bar? I seem to have left an entire stockpile of weapons there. As well as an iPod."

The man sees Sarpek a few feet away.

"Oh hey! Sarpek! Remember me? I'm DJ Spinbad! From the bar a few years ago!"

Meanwhile, somewhere in Dulston, a man is jumping from roof to roof. He has a pair of axes strapped to his back.

"I swear...If I ever find that freakin' noob...Ima chop off both his legs."

The man jumps down to the streets behind a girl. He pulls his pistol out and shoots the girl in the back of the head.

"Damn DEM. I figured they'd tracked me down sooner or later..."

Another man runs towards Axe with an axe drawn. Axe leaps out of the way, puts away his pistol and draws both of his axes.

"Don't you MPDers ever learn? I'm not a good guy to go hand-to-hand with here..."

The MPDer charges at Axe once more and swings. Axe blocks the shot with one axe, pushes the MPDer back, and throws his other axe at the cop. The blade of the axe slices the cops head right off. Axe walks over to his bloody axe and picks it up.

"I warned him. Now...Where to next?"

From a few dozen blocks away, automatic gun fire could be heard.

"Hm...Sounds like fun."

Axe runs towards a wall, jumps off the wall to another wall, and so on until he makes it to the roof. Axe then takes off in the direction of the gun fire.

[albub]

Daniel runs to the roof, inserting a pair of earplugs as he runs underneath the massive cannon. He leaps on to the roof of an adjacent building, looking around for the easiest way to get to the next building, and continuing thus for a great deal of time. Occasionally he pauses to drink from a bottle of red powerade. After a while he is forced to street level, and assumes a brisk trot, pausing to shoot a zombie every few minutes. Eventually he reaches the Coker residence, and the door is indeed open. He produces a trench spike from one of his many pockets and enters the house. He searches every room thoroughly, and besides a few zombies, none of whom being Alex, and a bathtub full of blood smears, the house is empty. He follows the trail of blood from the bathroom up a flight of stairs and to a smashed window. On the ground below there are many shards of glass, some more blood, and some shreds of clothing, as well as a trail of crushed glass and blood leading to another house nearby. He drops to the ground and follows the trail, which leads to a set of smears underneath a smashed window. Daniel yells into it.

"Hey, anybody home? Looks like you're hurt, you want some help?"

The response is a groan, not a zombie groan, but that of a man in pain. Daniel, taking reat care to keep his clothing from getting bloody, pulls himself through the window. He promptly kicks away Alex's gun, grabs his wrists and wrenches them behind him, pressing Alex against the ground, hard.

"Tried to kill yourself, huh? Looks to me like you cut from the wrong side, then bitched out halfway through. You think those cuts are deep enough? The body is a little better designed than that. Solid plan, sitting in the bathtub... keeps you bleeding a little longer. You're in pretty good shape though. Your blood pressure isn't high enough to do you in man. Next time, put in a little extra effort and find some rope. Or man up and use a gun. Not that there's going to be a next time. I've got you now, and there is no way I'm letting you out of my sight a second time. Why'd you leave man? Why'd you walk out on me like that? I came to this godforsaken city when I heard shit hit the fan to find you and keep you safe, don't make that in vain."

"Or you'll what? Kill me?"

"Hell no. I'll kill Leslie though. Shouldn't be too much of a problem, once I get out of here. Tracking you down in the city wasn't too much of a strugglle. Once I have the internet and maybe a phonebook on my side getting to her will be easy."

"Go to hell. If you lay a single finger on her... I'll come after you man, and that's a goddamn promise."

"Oh I have to do it now. Especially if it means you'll follow me out of the city."

"You have a way out? How?"

"Something like 90% of the zombie population is on the east side of the city, and I found out that the minefields by New Arkham are almost gone. It's risky, but with two of us, taking out any military who find us shouldn't be a problem. We could cross the quarantine zone and get out of here man, come with me."

"Oh, yeah, let's just take out any military we find. Easy. Man, that's crazy. It's been years, I'm rusty. I almost died fighting a necrotech mercenary. It's not worth the risk."

"It can't have been that many years... I'm four years older than you are and I'm not even thirty yet. C'mon man, how long has it been since you saw Leslie last? Months? A year? Do it."

Alex finally concedes. Daniel and he trek across the city, stopping only once to grab fresh clothes for the both of them. When they finally escape Malton they are able to sell their clothing, weapons and equipment for thousands of dollars. They successfully fake their deaths in a boating accident, and using fake passports are able to return home.

[Sarpek]

Sarpek throws a lever, stopping the automatic fire, and scans the horizon with a pair of binoculars. He spys Axe leaping from roof to roof, and dives for the cannon, cranking it around and dropping the barrel down to aim at Axe, adjusts for projectile drop, sets the stops that define the cannon's field of fire, and re-engages the automatic. "Guys! PK company!

[Definitely Not Axe Hack]

Something on Axe Hack starts beeping.

"Uh-oh...Someone's got a lock on me..."

Axe Hack leaps over to another rooftop. Axe shouts something and does something funny with his hands. Axe freezes in mind air, and in a split second, there is not one, not two, but 50 Axe Hack's leaping from rooftop to rooftop. One of these Axe Hack clones lands in front of Sarpek. Sarpek just stares.

"SEXY NO JITSU!"

The clone transforms into a sexy female figure, giving Sarpek a nosebleed and knocking him out. The Axe Hack clone disappears.

The DJ runs to aid Sarpek.

"Seems like he's not getting up for a while..."

The DJ takes out a deck of cards and what might look like a Yu-Gi-Oh dueldisk.

"Axe Hack! I challenge you to a children's card game at 2000 life points! If you win, I'll offer my life just for you to leave the others alone!"

The real Axe lands a few feet from the DJ.

"And if you win?"

"If I win, you leave us alone for the rest of the month!"

Axe takes out a deck and dueldisk as well.

"Sounds fair enough. Let's duel!"

Axe draws a card.

"I summon out 3 Blue Eyes White Dragons!"

Three dragons, all holograms, appear in the alley. The DJ stares. Then blinks.

"Wait a minute. Did you just summon out a bunch of monsters on your first turn?"

"Yes I did. You've got a problem with that?"

"That's against the rules!"

"Screw the rules, I'm a wanted man!"

((I must be high just to reference Naruto and Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged in this post...))

[Sarpek]

((Just iron-sights. Not guided, either. Dumb-fire shells.))

Sarpek rolls a barrel off the roof which explodes, filling the alley with black smoke. He than pulls down a Civil Protection mask, and drops a nade into the alley.

[Definitely Not Axe Hack]

Both Axe and the DJ stand coughing as smoke fills the alley. The DJ tries to look at Axe and draws a card. Axe shouts at the DJ.

"You *hack* can't beat me! Not a single *cough* card *hack* in that puny deck of yours will help *cough*!"

The DJ looks at the card he draws. He shouts at Axe.

"I don't *cough cough* need one card! I need *hack* five! Behold! All five pieces of Ex-*cough*-odia the Forbidden One! I win!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! IMPOSSI-*cough cough cough*-BLE!!!!!!!"

((Well...since I referenced it earlier, might as well finish it, right?))

[Sarpek]

Sarpek jumps into the alley, and blocks the way out. He points to a can on the ground with his stunstick. "Pick up that can. Throw it in the trash can."

[Definitely Not Axe Hack]

Axe Hack looks at Sarpek.

"Screw this. I ain't have time for this shit."

Axe throws a smoke pellet on the ground. In a few seconds, he is gone. As the smoke clears, the DJ looks at where Axe was standing. He runs to the middle of the alley.

"Damn you Axe Hack! I didn't even get a chance to mind crush you!"

As the DJ was shouting, a golden pyramid thing with a weird looking eye in the middle falls out of his pocket. The DJ snatches it up quickly, and says to Sarpek, "Nothing to see here. Move along. I'm not holding some crazy Egyptian artifact of any kind..."

[Sarpek]

Sarpek snatches the pyramid, tosses it in the air, and takes an almighty swing with his stunstick. There was a crackle of Electricity, and the pyramid goes flying.
"Move Along, Citizen."

[Vito The Don]

The Unholy sound of a chain gun fire fills the air. Barreling down the streets with a horde of zombies close on his tail, Vito blindly fires the chain gun mounted on his car behind him. Using teh bombed out husks of cars as a ramp, he launches the mustang into the air, coming down though the wall of the bar into what until that point had been the unused nonalcholic beer store room.
The door opens and out tumbles Vito the Don. He opens the trunk and pulls out a gun so evil looking that hell it'self spat it back out. "Hello?" he shouts "If anyone wants to know, trying to blow up the wall with a M1 Abrams does not make the outside government happy in the least.